Why Did Socrates Die, Really?

How and why did Socrates actually die?

“He was forced to drink poison hemlock because he was accused of corrupting the youth.”

Well, there’s a little more to it than that. Gather roun’, chillen, I got a story to tell.

Socrates went to war and distinguished himself somewhat against Sparta, which is why he’s always a brick shithouse in his statues and paintings. When he got home, not much was expected of him because he was an Athenian citizen, then, so he wore the same wool toga every day and cruised around Athens barefoot asking questions he thought were interesting. He asked them of anyone who would stand still long enough.

That was his day.

He never suggested a thing as true. He only asked questions of people. What’s your opinion? What do you think? Does it seem correct to you that … ? He was not paid for this annoying hobby.

Dude did this for TWENTY YEARS. Much like the obnoxious guitarist on your local street corner, he got sorta famous.

Let’s cut to it, now:

Aristophanes wrote a popular play in which Socrates teaches stupid things for money (false). Rich people and politicians resented him constantly pointing out that they didn’t understand the things they thought they did (true). The wealthy were also very upset that they’d lost the war. Traditionalists scapegoated Socrates.

He was accused of corrupting the youth with anti-democratic questions, as well as anti-religious questions because in Aristophanes’s play he teaches about crazy made-up gods in the clouds — you know, besides Zeus and Athena and other real things like that.

The court was like, “Do you believe in the actual gods?”

And he was all, “Dude, I don’t know. I don’t think I know anything.”

“You mean you don’t even know democracy is the greatest form of government?”

Socrates balked.

“Did I stutter? I don’t f-ckin’ know! What do you think?”

So, he doesn’t simply say, Bro, I went to the oracle just the other day and the oracle told me to teach the people stuff, so that’s what I did — all of which is true, BTW — which proves I’m religious. He didn’t say that. He could’ve pointed out that he was a steadfast voter, too, which would’ve proved he believed in democracy. Didn’t say that, either.

Naturally, they vote him guilty (by not that wide a spread, 280/220). Then they have to decide what to do with him.

He could’ve suggested exile. He could’ve asked for a fine or indentured servitude. Instead, he calls them motherf-ckers again by saying, “Dude, after all that free teaching? I think Athens owes my ass. You should give me a free place to live and food for the rest of my life on the taxpayer’s dime.”

In other words, this is how he’ll view imprisonment if they put him away.

So: was it suicide? Was he murdered by the system? Was he lynched by the rich people? It’s a philosophical question he’s asking us from beyond the grave.

My interpretation is that this stands tall among the biggest middle fingers held aloft in human history. Let’s not forget it.

——

From James Snell:

“Socrates’ defense failed and the jurors voted him guilty. The essential moment of the trial arrived. Socrates could have chosen many courses of action. He could have paid a fine; he could have asked to be banished. He could actively have done a number of things to spare his life.

“But Socrates did not, instead asking, per Plato, for his punishment to comprise eating free meals for life at the expense of the city. Another vote was called and the result of this arrogance was clear. Many more jurors agreed to a sentence of death than initially voted to convict him. He left them no other option.”